


Lost (But to Be Found)

by Rellanka



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Complicated Relationships, For Megastar at least, Lost Light Fix It, M/M, Transformers Spark Bonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-17 15:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19957417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rellanka/pseuds/Rellanka
Summary: When Starscream falls, Megatron knows.





	Lost (But to Be Found)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's that time of year when I pop up in fandoms I've long been lurking in but never previously contributed to. *waves enthusiastically*
> 
> First Transformers fic, so please let me know if I messed up on any of the terms.

The moment that Starscream fell, Megatron felt it.

He felt- agony, as the bond broke, as strand by strand Starscream’s spark tore apart from his own, as he slowly began to lose all feeling, as his spark and frame both became numb in utter devastation at being torn apart. Being forced to be only one spark, again, and not a bonded one. Not a truly whole one.

Megatron didn’t know that he was shaking. He didn’t know that he was staring straight in front of himself with dead optics while first Minimus, and then Ratchet, tried frantically to get his attention. He didn’t realize that his frame was hitting critically low temperatures as dormant coding in his processor activated emergency procedures, literally freezing his frame so that the pain of the broken bond wouldn’t cause him to tear himself apart. So that the pain wouldn’t cause his processor to be irreversibly damaged while trying to deal with the agony. 

Many mechs had died because of a broken spark bond. 

What little of Megatron’s processor that was currently able to react to such a thing dimly hoped that he was one of them. 

And then he finally went offline. 

***

“Humph, of course you wouldn’t allow me my rest. The Great and Mighty Megatron has to make sure he has the last word, after all.” 

The voice was familiar. It brought to Megatron’s processor annoyance, and anger, and bitter disappointment, and desire, and respect, and pride, and affection, and devotion, and love. It was a sound that Megatron had previously suggested he disliked, and one that he would no longer deny that he had fiercely missed.

“Starscream.” He breathed, turning at last to take the Seeker in, drinking in the sight of his form as if he had been stuck in a desert world all this time, and Starscream was the first glimpse of coolant he’d seen in orns. 

The Seeker was glaring at him, of course, but that was to be expected and was also something that had likely been earned. Megatron ignored the glare to stride toward the Seeker’s form, drawing the mech into his arms. If Starscream were truly unwilling to be embraced, Megatron was sure that the Seeker would let him know. Viciously. (Let Starscream injure Megatron. Let him even kill him. The pain, the dying, would be worth it to experience this for just a few nano-kliks more. To feel Starscream in his arms one more time- Megatron would **let** his old Second stab him in the back for this. )

Starscream snorted out loud even as he allowed himself to rest in the gladiator’s arms, the last strand of the bond, the one that was precipitating this meeting, blown wide open and allowing Starscream to see all of Megatron’s thoughts with nothing held back, “Acting the sentimental fool, again? I’ve told you before that it doesn’t suit you.” 

But Megatron wasn’t fooled by Starscream’s apparent lack of care. He could feel Starscream, too, could feel the old pain and hurt and longing and love raising up to match Megatron’s own. Their bond- it had been closed for so long, too much pain on both sides for either of them to risk keeping it open that- to feel it open now was like a relief for a long-felt ache that had never gone away. Megatron didn’t try to deny his fault in their fractured and shielded bond- he knew that he’d done plenty to contribute to its state- and he sent apology and pleasure and gratitude and love to his mate in pulses to let him know how grateful he was to be allowed to be so close to him once more.

Starscream, soft in a way that he only allowed himself to be within their bond, sent back pulses of forgiveness and apology and love in return, a lingering sense of old wounds not quite healed but willing to be moved on from lingering as an after note. 

But there would be no chance of moving on. No more chances for their bond to be fixed. When Starscream left him this last time, he would truly be leaving for good. There would be no opportunity for them to fix their bond afterward, because he would be truly gone. 

Megatron’s very spark twisted at the thought and wrapped itself as tight around that last thread it had binding it to Starscream’s own, agony hitting it all over again at the thought of losing it for good.

“Fool.” Starscream said again, reaching up to catch Megatron’s face and directing his optics to Starscream’s own, “Do you really think I’m so easy to take down? If I were, I would have died years ago. I’ll come back, and I’ll come back to **you**. But first you have to find me.”

“Find you?”

Starscream smirked, “It wouldn’t be fun if I made it easy on you… But alright, I suppose it’s unfair to ask an old processor like yours to find the treasure without a hint. So here’s your hint: find the little yellow Autobot. He’ll tell you how to find me.”

Little yellow Autobot? Megatron’s processor scrambled to identify the mech, and he thought that he’d arrived to the correct conclusion when the last link between he and Starscream began fraying. 

The cord linking them together reached a point where it was a tiny thread of a connection, and even as Megatron tried desperately to strengthen it, to hold on to it, Starscream jerked his helm down and pressed his lips firmly against Megatron’s own.

“Find me.” He said again, fiercely. A declaration of love and promise for a future all in one. 

And Megatron woke up.

Agony was still wracking him, making pieces of his frame shudder as he tried to reel in the feeling. It helped that Megatron had a purpose now, a promise that his loss might not be a forever one. If he hadn’t had that to cling to, Megatron suspected that he would have never left his berth again. As it was, he had his reason. He wouldn’t let Starscream down. Not again. **Never** again.

Ratchet was glaring at him, of course, his optics almost promising to put him offline again in a more physical violence kind of way. Megatron knew that the medic never would, but he was damn good at acting like it. Beneath the glare was a depth of sympathy and worry, and Megatron knew that Ratchet was aware that he’d just suffered from a broken bond.

“You scared the ever loving Pit out of me, mech. Mind telling me why I wasn’t informed that you were bonded?” Ratchet asked, his voice carefully mild as his medical coding obviously wared with his empathy coding. 

“The reasons you didn’t know are- many. But perhaps, when I was truly face with my comeuppance, I just couldn’t bring myself to drag my Second down with me as I fell.”

The shock on Ratchets face was as priceless as Megatron had expected it to be, and Megatron graciously allowed Ratchet time to reboot his processor after the bombshell Megatron had just dropped.

“What the frag- I just-“ Ratchet stopped and shook his helm. “No. I’m not touching that topic with a ten foot pole. I don’t want to know what you and Screamer got up to, goodness knows that mech-“ Ratchet stopped again as realization suddenly hit him as to what Megatron suffering from a broken bond meant for Starscream. 

And for Megatron.

“I- do you want to talk about it?” Ratchet offered gently, embarrassment and apology both present on his face. It was obviously a topic he didn’t want to know more of, but he’d weather through learning about it for his patient’s sake. A true medic to the core. 

But despite Megatron’s gratitude, he didn’t feel like discussing anything at the moment. 

“Right now I would prefer to just be alone.” Megatron said, off lining his optics and settling his helm back onto the pillow. Even with the purpose buoying him, he still felt too much pain to feel up to dealing with anyone. 

Ratchet nodded, “Well, you’re stable enough right now that I can give you a few joors. But no complaining when I come back to check on you, you hear?”

Ratchet paused in the doorway, “When you do feel up to it… there are some mechs that would like to see you.” 

Megatron managed a shadow of a smile in response at the thought of his crew, relieved when Ratchet accepted it as an answer and moved on. He would miss this crew when he inevitably left to go find Starscream. Miss them almost as much as he missed his Decepticons, and he’d known the crew on the Lost Light for a far shorter period of time. 

Maybe, when he did find Starscream, he would convince his Seeker to come back to join the crew with him. 

It was a plan to think about after he found his conjunx and renewed their bond.

For he would.

Megatron would accept nothing less.

**Author's Note:**

> And then of course Prowl happens and Megatron sees where that’s going (his death) and decides to allow himself to be duplicated so that at least one version of him can go find his Seeker. He sneaks away from the Lost Light crew of the Alt Universe and skips back the Main Universe after he calculates enough time has gone by for the Counsel to arrange his execution. 
> 
> Bumblebee’s No Good, Very Bad, Terrible, Truly Awful Day begins when Megatron pops his helm suddenly through his window and asks politely if he knows where Starscream is. Well, not entirely bad, because laying Megatron out flat after punching the mech has always sorta been something he wanted to do, but still. Starscream’s hysterical laughter over it, and over the way that Bumblebee shrieked before he punched the bigger mech, gets him punched by Bumblebee himself as soon as they manage to make the Seeker corporeal again. But not too hard, because Starscream is that really annoying older brother that Bumblebee never thought to want, and Bumblebee **loves him.**
> 
> (And it’s for the best that Bumblebee did punch Megatron, really, because at least that means the mech takes him seriously when he says he’ll shank the old warlord if he ever hurts Starscream again.)


End file.
